I’m not happy. This isn’t working!
- If I look at this will I want to leave him?
- When I change will I not want him anymore?
- Is this the best there is?
When you look at making some deep, personal changes, the fear of the unknown can kick in, and stop you in your tracks. It’s heightened if you think you have to lose someone significant in your life. Mercury Retrograde, such as the one we are currently experiencing, tends to influence us to look inwards at things that work, things that don’t and finishing up unfinished business. This includes our closest relationships.
Just because you look at something with great scrutiny does not mean you will leave them behind. Just because you put your relationship under the microscope at times, does not mean you have to rip them off like a band aid in order to improve your life because you came face-to-face with their shortcomings.
Culturally we think change is the “Just do it!” drastic mantra of super athletes. We think it means releasing everything in our lives including people, places and things: ejecting them down a garbage shoot so we can improve our lives. We think growth is a taking someone, realizing how they do not treat us well, and tossing them away like yesterday’s news. Nothing could be further from the truth, but because we fear being alone and what the future could be like (usually negative) we shut down our processes of internal evaluation.
Just because you scrutinize all facets of your relationship, good, bad and those you wish were different, does not mean you have to leave it all behind. It just means you have to courage to look at all facets of it. You don’t always have to take action but you do need to sometimes deeply question yourself.
What is working?
What is not working?
How would you like that to change?
The deepest scrutiny is often misplaced. “What do they need to change? And “Will they change?” stops us in our tracks. The answer is almost always, “No!” What the real question should be is, “What do I need to change in myself in order to have them in my life?”
When you ask this question, you can truly evaluate your relationship under a microscope and reveal the truth for yourself. They are not going to change. What to do you need to change within yourself in order to continue to have them in your life, warts, pimples and all? What are the fears they are mirroring in you that you can assess and release in order to have a better, deeper relationship with them as they truly are?
If you begin to frame the questions and scrutiny completely into yourself, you will be amazed at your courage to investigate deeply, to the energetic level, what you need in a relationship. They don’t have to go because you are disgruntled. Perhaps, a part of you needs to bet let go, to have a healthier relationship! Times of deep introspection and retrospection (as in retrograde) is a perfect time to clean your own cobwebs out. The results will surprise you!
Joyce M. Jackson, the Sane Psychic, is Your Guide on THE SANE Side. She is a renowned San Francisco Bay Area based Psychic, Psychic Medium, Huna and Toltec trained Shamanic Practitioner, Usui and Toltec Nagual Reiki Master. She uniquely brings a calm, reassuring message in easy, simple terms for clarity to your life questions. She delivers guidance with compassion and warmth through her ability to inspire real understanding and transformation to confused by unclear emotions and experiences. She needs no tools but can use The Tarot, Oracle Cards, Runes, a Pendulum and Shaman Stones upon request. Learn more at The Sane Psychic.